Wednesday 20th April

The true evil begins at being forced to get up at 7. A regular thing for most people I'm sure but for me it's a horrible injustice not being used to it in quite awhile. Then the evil tube with daggers for teeth and fire for breath crams me onto it in positions the human body just doesn't like to be shaped in.

At the agency I wait 30 mins am am met by the devil himself who decides to conduct the interview whilst walking down a hallway. With no chance to put forward what I actually WANT to do, as I expected, I'm told there's a position, in a call centre doing outbound calls for charity. At this point my resistance to such an evil kicks in but alas, the devil takes my leave and in enters one of his minions. It becomes clear at this point that I've no longer got a choice in the matter and no chance to back out, and before I know it I've got a phone interview booked for the very same afternoon. Suddenly hell spits me out and I'm standing on the street trying to figure out what's just happened.

Disoriented I stumble to Trafalgar Square and stand drinking it in while contemplating all the lies I've been told to tell in the interview. Including one I noticed in my notebook a few hours later saying 'I'm passionate about call centre work'. So essentially this is the situation...

I've been asked to lie about my experience, lie about my personality, lie about being passionate about telesales, all to get a job I do not want involving two of my least favourite occupations, speaking on the phone AND selling to people who don't want what I'm offering in the first place, involving taking the sympathy angle. I hate lying and I don't do it well and lying for something I don't even want just becomes too much to bear. So putting all this aside, I decide to walk.

At first I walk through the beautiful St James Park, watching the ducks and oh so cute squirrels and smelling the gorgeous scent of the flowers that line the way. Then I'm at Buckingham Palace watching the changing of the guard which basically involves lots of marching, marching bands, marching guards, police showing off like they're kings and queens of the world. While the real Queen sits so very close. Then everyone stands around foran excrutiating 40 minutes or so until off they march again.

After this I walk to Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. Then to Westminster Abbey (my god, what a great building). I don't go in as it costs too much but I go into St Margarets next door which is um, churchlike, as you would expect. I didn't find my newly stolen soul there as I'd hoped.

Then I walk to some other stunning building, I've no idea what it was - St John's Concert Hall perhaps. Then off to Number 10 Downing Street, which is no longer open to the public but I figure there's no souls to be found there anyway. Then to some other place, Cenotaph? All the while being very tourist like and trying to immortalise every piece of beauty forever. But feeling empty still and trying to weigh up a choice I have no desire to be faced with, I head home.

I walk Shane to work, ring Joel for advice (sorry dear I ran out of credit) and now I'm sitting here deciding if I should call and refuse to take this interview, all this while feeling even more empty because the goddamn job from hell is for charity.

Oh what I'd give for the ability to make decisions. Instead my stupid thought process has to be, what will I lose if I don't do it, or what horrible hangup will I develop if I do.

Right, so I just did the phone interview thinking I might still be able to back out even if that went well. There was a bunch of questions I wasn't prepared for that I basically stuffed up, which I can't help but feel is a good thing, considering the drivel of lies that came out of my mouth. I should hear by 6pm. At this point I'll either cry because they want to meet me in person or I'll cry because I failed at impressing them even if I didn't want to.

So anyway, as it is still Wednesday, if anything exciting happens, I'll make a Wednesday Part 2 and let you know, but I was just so keen to share this with you and plead with whatever readers are reading for their opinion on what I should do. PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Much love.