Monday 15th August

Well, I am happy to report I have finally found a new place to live. It is a double bedsit which is basically just a room with a 'kitchenette' and a shared bathroom. In fact there are 3 shared bathrooms which the English appear to take quite literally as 2 contain baths and the smallest room I've ever seen contains a shower. Who the hell takes baths?!? And just to be ironic these literal bathrooms containing baths are called wash rooms. They have an overabundance of baths at this hostel also.

Anyway the particular beauty of the place is that it's across the road from the Hospital were I work on the one street I've most desired to live on. Also, although still horrendously expensive it's relatively cheap for the area, plus no travel expenses! I shall almost miss tube travel although not the vomit smell that consistently lingers around Earls Court Station.

It probably could not have come at a better time as my room at the hostel has become infested with minature flies which I fear will try and devour me while I sleep. Not to mention the girl in the room beside me who has just about driven me to breaking point with her complete disregard for other people. I spend a good portion of my day devising schemes to get the miniflies into her room to devour her instead. She's French, she'll taste better.

As always there are drawbacks. I've now committed to a six month lease which means my escape from London is further delayed. I may not be able to afford my trip to Turke, every bastard has kindly offered to stay at my new place after a long night of drinking or the night before they have an 8am shift, and the lease states I absolutely cannot leave the place within certain months of the year, even if my lease happens to end during this time as it's a dead time for the rental market and they fear they may not be able to offload it on anyone else. This is disturbing on a number of levels. In a way I was very lucky as apparently one of those dead periods started today and I may never have been able to find a place if real estates were forcing tenants not to vacate. Assuming every real estate has that backwards mentality. Anyway, I shall be relocating on the 1st of Sept.

Moving on to another disturbing subject, in the last week 3 people have told me they thought I was British. Two were British and one was Australian for gods sake! I don't talk any different, even when I'm drunk! Of course everyone suddenly remembers you're Australian when we're losing in the cricket. If you thought Australians loved their cricket you'd be very surprised by the fanaticism for it over here. Please let us win. If only so I can show my face in public.

Do you have the Peugeot 1007 ad over there? It's bloody brilliant. If you haven't, do whatever you can to get a copy of it. Doesn't really make you want to rush out and buy the car but damn it's good.

English Big Brother has now finished for the year and I miss it. Unfortunately my pathetic existance no longer has anything to revolve itself around of an eveing so I'm now reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy which will take about an hour and noting all the spelling mistakes in it. Oh my god, who is this person!?!