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Superstar bliss

Hello fellow earthlings and blog reading canines,
I'm really thuper excited about living in London at the moment because within the next month I get to be in the same vicinity of three of my heroes!

Firstly, on Tuesday I went to a book signing with NEIL GAIMAN, one of my top three favourite authors. We waited for a good few hours for about 20 secs with the man and exposing myself so givingly to the subreed of human class I call nerds was quite painful but I got my books signed and it was all kind of but not really but you know it's the principle of the thing, exciting!

Secondly, God himself did smile upon me today and I managed to score a "sold out" ticket to a talk with TIM BURTON, my favourite director. I've been on the site the last 3 days to continually receive sold out messages (yes, I'm persistant) and for one minute one tiny sliver of gold opened up and let me in to buy a ticket! I went back 30 seconds later to try for fun and it said 'sold out' again. Tip: Persistance pays (unless you're a stalker)

Thirdly, ZACH BRAFF, my favourite actor, is going to be in London in the next few weeks promoting his new film The Last Kiss and you can bet your mismatched cotton socks I'll be queuing in Leicester Square from early morning to catch a glimpse at the premiere.

I am a groupie but I don't care.

I'm also going to Jamie Oliver's restaurant pretty soon but that's not real exciting just bloody expensive.

While I'm doing a bit of star gushing, as I've missed so many posts about my life for the last few months I should pay special mention to seeing chubby ol Corey Haim and a few of the Lost stars at a convention and also accidentally happening by the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere and spying on Johnny, Orlando and Keira.

In other news, have been spending a bit of time hanging around the law courts of late. A friend of mine is involved in a case and I thought it would be kind of interesting (but is actually fairly traumatic) to check it out.

My major money issues are starting to sort themselves out (it's been a long hard slog I tell you) but I'm still not sure I'll be able to afford to travel anywhere at the end of all this. I'm thinking about hitting the German Christmas markets this year though and maybe going to Venice for their carnival in Feb. We shall see.

Anyway, I haven't replied to anyone's emails since forever so I'm sorry but I'm slack. Maybe one day soon but I can't promise anything. Still love you though.

RIP Steve Irwin

Amsterdam XXX

16th – 20th August

Yes, I know there’s a 3 month gap here. (Where DOES the time go!?) But I’ll come back to that at a later stage. For now I’m going to tell you all about my lil sojourn in the Netherlands, specifically Amsterdam. My first time in Europe out of 17 months!

WEDNESDAY

The general idea was to hook up with Wes at an airport in London and continue our journey to Amsters together. Naturally Wes’s flight from Glasgow was severely delayed so this looked unlikely – I was barely going to make it myself after spending 30 minutes in the security queue. But luckily for some (ie. us) the 2nd flight was delayed so it all worked out great. Barely remembered the flight it was so short (or possibly because of the 2 pints we skulled beforehand) and next thing we knew we were on a train to Amsterdam central accompanied by an incredibly friendly random stranger who’d chosen us as his ‘good deed’ for the day to give us tourist advice. He was quite strange but nice to have someone to help with the first leg of the journey. We then caught a train to the suburb of our hostel where Wes got stuck in the doors and pretended he didn’t care (he he). Problem being it wasn’t our suburb at all so we traipsed around all over the joint lookin for the place until we gave up and caught a tram, also to a location that wasn’t that near our hostel. Anyway, this is all kind of boring, so yes, we got there eventually and saw bits of Amsterdam we probably wouldn’t have seen otherwise.

Quickly dressed and had a beer and some extremely good food in the bar at the hostel before heading to Paradiso to see Beck! What a concert! Behind the band they had a puppet stage set up with puppets which were all replicas of the band, doing exactly what the band members did on stage. They had a couple of camera guys filming them so they were projected on the big screen behind everything with cool effects and stuff. Then during the encore period they played a short film of the puppets and their mischievous antics around Amsterdam which is of course the best city in the world for puppets to get up to naughty things. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Sooo cool. Beck was of course awesome too ☺

Afterwards we wandered up to this weird bar district and had a few beverages in various dodgy pubs. Somehow ended up smack bang in the midst of gay land. I found it slightly weird and creepy to see a whole district of just men but we were in the gay capital of Europe so I shouldn’t have been too surprised. Anyhow standing at the bar in random gay club some Asian dude took a fancy to me and decided to make me dance (nowhere near the dance floor) so we warmed up with the traditional ballet poses and then he starts swinging me around and bending me backwards and doing all sorts of extremely fast dance moves which were all a bit too much for this drunken uncoordinated lass. He then took us to another bar and tried to pash Wes which was weird as he had had no interest in even talking to Wes. Every time Wes tried to strike up a conversation he’d start rambling on about the weather in a patronising way. It was all quite strange. Wandered the streets trying to find home for what seemed like hours (only to discover the next day we’d only been a 2 minute walk away), popping in and out of bars and cafes (gay) along the way. Ended up going down to the horrid coliseum style club under our hostel and being the only two people dancing in this glass box in the middle of the club. It was disturbing. Things you do eh!

THURSDAY

Woke up around midday – I’m sure you can understand why. Dragged ourselves outside for breakfast of pancakes and eggs (not together although the waitress found this concept highly amusing). Wes fell for the waitress and I fell for the boy at the next table. We did this hundreds of times a day mind you as there’s a hell of a lot of good lookin people in the Amsters region. Then we just wandered and wandered and wandered. We did this a lot but it’s quite good to get lost to see a place. Spose I should fill you in on Amsterdam. Basically I had pictured a couple of streets filled with cafes for smoking pot and girls in windows trying to entice men into paying them for sex. Then the countryside would be all clogs, cows, tulips, windmills and blonde girls with plaits. No wonder people picture Australia as having kangaroos jumpin all over the shop. It is indeed partly like this but mostly not. There are a lot of canals and boating, the housing is all tall, thin and close together but looks quite cool. It is the land of bikes. Many people had told me this but you just don’t comprehend it until you actually see it. EVERYONE rides a bike - young to the extremely old. There’s bikes frickin everywhere and trying not to get run over one is a mission in itself. Bike racks overrun the city. No one wears a helmet and you often see very young children (2ish) sitting on the handlebars. People watching is the go and most bars / cafes have outdoor chairs which face the street and not the person you’re with.

Had a bloody mary for lunch in the red light district with a bit of a look at the girlies (well most were girls I THINK). Later we positioned ourselves by one of the canals along a street with a row of bars and cafes. Wesley whipped out his ipod and plugged it into his speakers for everyone’s listening pleasure. We sat there for a long while watchin boats go by and chatting to the neighbouring table of Liverpudlians. I REALLY fell in love with a Dutch boy sitting near by. But then he left and I was crushed. Went to a few more bars, fell in love with the cutest puppy in the world. But then he left and I was crushed. Had New York pizza for dinner (as you do). Popped by a “Bob Marley” café with Wes for a looksee. Should’ve caught a sex show but didn’t (a deep regret in retrospect – it’s a must for Amsters) and finally found home again (this was always a bit of a miracle until the last day when we finally figured out where it was). I couldn’t sleep cos this group of boys were particularly noisy EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. The creepy thing was one of them sounded EXACTLY like Wes, not just the sound of his voice but the words and intonations as well. I kept having to check Wes hadn’t crept out in the night. He even sang. Spooky.

FRIDAY

Felt like utter sh*te upon waking. Stopped by a sweet lil man’s small café for breakfast. He gave me a free waffle! (Wes had to pay – suck it). Then we headed for Mike’s Bikes for our….BIKING AND BOAT TOUR! I haven’t ridden a bike in at least 15 years so you can imagine how that turned out. I’m thinking about making a shirt saying ‘I am retarded’. This went on for a bout 4 hours as we rode around and through the city with lots of sightseeing and many interesting facts about Amsterdam. (Has a pretty damn interesting history – you should check it out sometime.) I miraculously managed to not kill myself or anyone else (although if you could die of shame I would have). My arm muscles are still sore from gripping the handlebars so tightly. After this we boarded our boat for an hour-long canal tour, beers and lunch. Chatted to some of our fellow bikers. Wes thought they were strange so he made us run away from them later. Our tour guide was the greatest tour guide ever so I highly recommend Mike’s Bike Tours if you’re ever in the area. Had to then ride around the botanical gardens and back home under the influence of alcohol. Weeeeeeee crash. Was good times.

Back in the hostel we put on some tunes and stood staring out the window for an hour or so at least. Fascinating stuff watching life go by in the ‘Dam. Our window was right next door to the H on the Hostel sign and Wes pointed out there was a big black dildo on top. Apt.

Headed out a bit later on for a couple of beers and a chinese feed. Was again astounded by the variety of good lookers about. Wandered about checking out various places – was keen for a dance but everywhere was too busy. Found this really great whiskey bar right near home for a drop or two (or ten) and then on to another great bar for a game of pinball which lastest about 30 seonds. Luckily it shut not long after we got there so we decided it was bedtime once again.

SATURDAY

Our hard livin had taken it’s toll by this time. Shared a bowl of chips for breakfast after Wes finally dragged me out of bed. Went to the Reichs (Rembrandt) musuem for a bit of culture. I found it particularly unimpressive (except for the architecture of the building itself).
Stopped in a park for a bit of a lie down by a large pond and the huge ‘I Amsterdam’ sign which people sit all over.
Ate some crap icecream. Browsed in the museum shop so we didn’t have to work up the energy to do the Van Gogh museum as well (a bit of a shame but such is life.) Walked through the city looking at the shops and sampling various goods. Found this takeaway food place that sells all its food from vending machines and the thing we sampled was actually really tasty (no idea what it was though). It was quite enjoyable now I think back. Eventually walked in the possible direction of home and found the “Brunswick St” area of Amsterdam city. Was funky and cool (and mostly shut). Stopped by a bar for a vino or two. Wes got so distracted by this hen’s party of girls that when we left he’d left his frikkin bag there and didn’t realise for about 20 mins. He was reminded by one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen in my life. Imagine a bar which seats maybe 3 people on either side – essentially a raised table. Then imagine all these people were girls and the bar was set on wheels so they were all cycling as they were drinking cocktails – the cycles bizarrely facing inwards yet the whole bar moving in the opposite direction – just driving around the streets. If I were a mechanic this might make sense but I aint. I should have taken a photo but I was far too astounded. Anyway since Wesley is such a lucky star naturally his bag was there on our return. On our wanders we found a stage set up by one of the canals with hundreds of people (and bikes) all around. The river was absolutely chockers with boats and people who’d stopped by for a look. We never actually saw anything happen though.
Went on a dinner mission and found a funky lil bar in the middle of nowhere where we dined on Italian and drank more vino (with a cocktail thrown in). Fancied the bar man. But Wes rightly pointed out we should go home as we had an early start to catch our planes the next morning. Wandered back home and found it easy peasy for once. I decided to buy some tacky souvenirs which cost me a bloody fortune. Went to bed and FINALLY slept properly (ear plugs are god).

SUNDAY

Not much to report except I managed to get to the airport trouble free ALL BY MYSELF. Security took 30 seconds as opposed to London. Bought some famous Amsterdam gouda cheese and couple of things duty free including this wicked Van Gogh bottle of pineapple vodka. Discovered to my horror that you can’t get duty free goods within the EU. So thinking I was paying the cheaper advertised price only to fork out the full normal amount. If anyone knows a way around this or that it’s actually not meant to happen that way let me know!!!

And that’s that my friends. Was good times and pain free (for me where something shit ALWAYS happens either right before I go away or during) Recommend ye olde Amsterdam which I didn’t think would be my scene at all, and despite it taking me 2 days or so to get into the swing of things. Hope to see the countryside next time around (positive thinking!)

Photo page

http://www.flickr.com/photos/starlsy/

Post to follow.

Birthday - 22nd May

I just finished reading a 3rd book by GK Chesterton. He’s bloody brilliant. I think everyone should read him.

Now for my birthday… I wrestled with not telling anyone but then I decided it would be nice to feel a bit spesh so I organised a dinner the Friday before at a place near work / home (always important). Twenty odd people rocked up and after dinner they even surprised me with a cake! I had no idea. Ended up having a really good time. Bit of a shame I had to work the next day (Saturday – bastards).

I think it was on this weekend that I did St Pauls etc. so I’ve got all my timings here muddled. It’s the old age y’know. On my actual birthday I received a big bouquet of flowers with balloon attached from my favourite parents (sent to work which was highly embarrassing but everyone secretly wishes they get sent flowers in front of all their peers don’t they? Don’t lie – you know you do.)

That night 4 of us went to see the West End theatre version of One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest with Christian Slater. Age has not dulled his looks (just my eyesight). We wondered whether to behave like 15 year olds and wait around for him to leave afterwards but decided against it in the end. Unlike everyone else who was there to see it, mind you. (Bit bitter about that – can you tell?)

Bank holiday weekend 14 – 17 April

ROAD TRIP!

In a last minute freak out over what to occupy ourselves with for the long weekend we managed to pull together a hire car and four people to fill it on a mini road trip around southwest England. Living so centrally my “room” has now unofficially been renamed ‘Hotel Hayley’ despite my remonstrations and so 1 of said 3 stayed the night before our departure. Whenever she’s involved a big neon BAD NEWS sign lights up above her head and this was no exception. To bed by 11 was the plan but noooo, she invites her boyfriend over and neither of us could make him leave so unfortunately the first day of plan ‘See England’ turned into plan ‘Sleep in the car’.

Our first stop was Bournemouth where we spent a good part of the afternoon seeking out beds for the night. Eventually we found a really rather good place despite the disturbing display of rock memorabilia everywhere we looked including a life size Bruce Springsteen which freaked us out every time we used the stairs.

Strolled to Oceanside for a lovely meal in the beachside tackarama restaurant with a side of long island iced teas. Posed by the merry-go-round cos that’s what you do at the British seaside and wandered by the ‘Bournemouth Eye’, a hot air balloon attached to a crane thing (DODGY) in search of a pub, and myyy did we find a great one! At first appearances the ‘Tapp and Hobbit’ was just a backwater Bournemouth sports bar with a few disturbing amateur paintings from the Lord of the Rings and the toilet vending machine’s excessive array of dildos. However – vodka redbulls were half price (perfect for the weary traveller) and then the DJ came on and played the best music I’ve ever heard in one venue. I should introduce my fellow companions here Alex and Amy, my lovely work friends and Al, also from the hospital, an Aussie boy who I don’t really speak to - for no particular reason except I’ve never quite figured out how to converse with him. Anyway, Al’s theme song is Mr Farenheit by Queen (which is played bloody everywhere and I don’t know why) which was 2nd tune up putting us all in good spirits.

After musical bliss for a few hours, one of the party used sneaky tactics to get us to go to a horrible club. However I must say I was secretly overjoyed at how this panned out. Picture the scene – dark, horrid club full of wankers. First round of drinks on the table. Alastair leans slightly on the table and the whole thing collapses. Al’s on the floor, drinks go flying – most ending up in Alex’s eyes. Smashing glass, stares, bar staff running towards us from every direction and me sitting there calmly, laughing internally. It was bloody brilliant. We got totally told off for it which provoked Amy and Alex – completely separately – to storm off and scream at management.

By the time we got home everyone was cranky and we all ended up arguing. To alleviate the stress Alastair went to sleep and Alex decided it would be a great idea to take his pants off – or should I say “trousers” or Brits will think I’m referring to his “undergarments” (her argument was so he’d be more comfortable). So I’m on the bed taking photos and her and Amy are trying to get his strides off and then hiding on the floor everytime they thought he might wake up and I’m just praying he doesn’t cos the first thing he’ll see is me sitting on the bed with a camera aimed at him, his pants half off and the others appearing to not be in the room. Wouldn’t have been a highlight.

Looking back at the photos I noticed an orb in them – an orb! Exciting stuff. (For those who don’t know what an orb is cos I didn’t until I went to Turkey – it’s a ghostly ball of light which appears in photos for no rhyme or reason.) Side note to this – I’ve since noticed my camera puts orbs in photos all the time. Either that or there are a lot of ghosts wandering about.

Next day, whilst trying to leave Bournemouth, we noticed a very stange thing. There were a lot of elderly people around. And every single one of them either was driving around in one of those motorised wheelchairs or they had no necks and were walking like zombies. It was really very odd. Anyway after many near misses with the zombies and races with the wheelchairs we finally arrived in magnificent Bath. Everyone raves about it and it really is lovely. Georgian architecture everywhere. There’s a mini gold Jesus on a cross outside town and someone brilliantly said “imagine if he jumped off and started terrorising people” which turned into a hilarious recurring joke by the end of trip.

Starving, we went in search of food and first came across a goth pub which I won’t ever forget – it was kind of like an outback Australian pub except with goths – weird. And then we enjoyed the best pies the world has ever known, stirking it twice lucky in pub gold, later finding out the random place we lunched was voted best pub in Bath.

Wandered around absorbing all the Bath we could until it was time to jump in the car and go to Bristol. We didn’t really see too much of Bristol having driven the same circuit over and over looking for the ‘obvious’ hotel we’d been recommended. Eventually we pulled over for directions and realised we had a flat tyre. Naturally us 3 girls stood around while the man of the group changed the tyre. Alex nearly got thrown in the river by a drunken Bristolite who’d decided she was far too hot to be left alone. In the end we left it there and checked into the hotel across the road. (Coincidentally attached to a great pub where apparently Blackbeard had hung out or some nonsense).

Had a relatively early night as to be honest we were a bit terrified of the scary Bristol folk with their freaky accents. Back in our room we were having a conversation about mini jesus when the cork popped out of an unopened bottle of wine scaring the hell out of us. Amy then kept me up talking and fell asleep mid conversation. I’d love to be able to sleep like that!

For brunch the next day we had roast beef and the plate was one big yorkshire pudding. Bliss! I’d heard the magical wonder of the Yorkshire pud and yes the rumours are true! Better learn to make them for when I head back to Oz.

At this point we were quite close to Wales and one of the Als wanted to check out the bridge which joins it to England. In the end we thought ‘bugger it’ and drove across for a Baileys in Wales. It was quite a pretty place wherever the hell we were. Worst language ever though. Had a looksee at a castle (the pub was next door) and then headed off for the highlight of our trip – Wookey Hole!!!

The brochure for it was just so random and exciting we HAD to go. A choice highlight from it - ‘In Britain’s most spectacular caves, come and see the witch of Wookey, turned to stone centuries ago, it is said, by a monk from Glastonbury.’ Features include the Cave museum, King Kong in the Valley of the Dinosaurs, a handmade paper mill, a pirate ship, a seaside pier with requisite amusements, a magical mirror maze, enchanted fairy garden and the wizards castle. My oh my!

The tour starts out in the caves which was actually really cool although there’s this stupid myth about it being haunted by this witch who according to the brochure used to ‘casserole children’. This little boy on the tour kept asking if we’d see a real magic wand. The tourguide was all ‘you might find some in the giftshop’ and he replied ‘NO! I want one that does REAL magic’. Cute, at least it was until he wouldn’t shut up about it.

Turns out parts of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was filmed there. Was also the location of the first deep sea cave dive in the world. After this we wandered about checking out all the brochure promised. The seaside pier amusements were absolutely brilliant. All these motorised executions and way ancient arcade games. I had a gypsy read my fortune whilst hoping to wake up small, reverse big style. She did all her fancy moves and no fortune came! But I didn’t die and I didn’t wake up small. Ah, tacky fun overload I tell you.

We headed the car for home, with a brief stop at Stonehenge (the stones actually seem quite small!), viewing it through the fence of course. How mystical. And a few hours later overbearing London was upon us once more!



31st May, y0-6
Zee latest updates

---STOP PRESS--- Latest news from the last month!
(Actually there’s absolutely nothing worth stopping the press for but I thought it sounded good.)

Well the end of last month saw the fancy black tie-esque staff party. Had no end of troubles finding suitable attire. To think of it I actually have nothing of interest worth saying about it so I’ll just post some pics for you to peruse. Was going to try and remain relatively anonymous on this site but bugger it.

PHWOAR what a stunner! (And check out the necklace – I made it!) PHWOAR and she’s talented too!

A couple of weeks ago, in the week leading up to my birthday I thought I’d attempt another sojourn into London city to ooh and ahh at the sights on offer. First stop – Saint Paul’s Cathedral. I actually found it a little bit spooky. Once you check out the main congregation area you descend into the crypts to view the tombs of various famous, rich and influential people from the past. Tombs included ………. However I think the one which interested me the most was Lawrence of Arabia which was not signposted on the brochure at all. After this I ascended the 237 (???) steps to the whispering gallery which is a round balcony area right under the dome and the acoustics are so bizarre that you can hear someone better who’s directly across from you about 80 metres away than someone who is standing next to you. It also gives you a great view of the dome paintings. The unfortunate thing about all this was I had a complete panic attack about the height and was pinned to the seats next to the wall trying to crush myself as far back as possible from the edge. Damn this fear of heights. Took me about half an hour to finally get the courage to edge myself around the wall to the exit and escape.

After this I walked around the block taking photos to compensate for not being able to take them inside. Then crossed the Thames via the Millenium Bridge to the Tate Modern Gallery. This place is confusing. It seems they’ve designed it in an annoying way to add to the artiness factor but its actually completely shit to navigate around. As a result I was quite disappointed with what I saw but I’ve since found out, a couple of weeks later watching a doco on the gallery, that there’s whole other sections I didn’t even find which housed all the art I really wanted to see – like the Warhols, Duchamps and Lichtensteins. Ugh, it makes me angry now just thinking about it. Anyway at the time the only thing that really rocked my boat was the Narcissus painting by Dali.

And we’ll return right after these messages…

Testing

Howdy doodles

Just doing some testing of images before my next post. The text aint the same without the hot pics of me ;)

Coming soon to a website near you......