Monday 15th August

Well, I am happy to report I have finally found a new place to live. It is a double bedsit which is basically just a room with a 'kitchenette' and a shared bathroom. In fact there are 3 shared bathrooms which the English appear to take quite literally as 2 contain baths and the smallest room I've ever seen contains a shower. Who the hell takes baths?!? And just to be ironic these literal bathrooms containing baths are called wash rooms. They have an overabundance of baths at this hostel also.

Anyway the particular beauty of the place is that it's across the road from the Hospital were I work on the one street I've most desired to live on. Also, although still horrendously expensive it's relatively cheap for the area, plus no travel expenses! I shall almost miss tube travel although not the vomit smell that consistently lingers around Earls Court Station.

It probably could not have come at a better time as my room at the hostel has become infested with minature flies which I fear will try and devour me while I sleep. Not to mention the girl in the room beside me who has just about driven me to breaking point with her complete disregard for other people. I spend a good portion of my day devising schemes to get the miniflies into her room to devour her instead. She's French, she'll taste better.

As always there are drawbacks. I've now committed to a six month lease which means my escape from London is further delayed. I may not be able to afford my trip to Turke, every bastard has kindly offered to stay at my new place after a long night of drinking or the night before they have an 8am shift, and the lease states I absolutely cannot leave the place within certain months of the year, even if my lease happens to end during this time as it's a dead time for the rental market and they fear they may not be able to offload it on anyone else. This is disturbing on a number of levels. In a way I was very lucky as apparently one of those dead periods started today and I may never have been able to find a place if real estates were forcing tenants not to vacate. Assuming every real estate has that backwards mentality. Anyway, I shall be relocating on the 1st of Sept.

Moving on to another disturbing subject, in the last week 3 people have told me they thought I was British. Two were British and one was Australian for gods sake! I don't talk any different, even when I'm drunk! Of course everyone suddenly remembers you're Australian when we're losing in the cricket. If you thought Australians loved their cricket you'd be very surprised by the fanaticism for it over here. Please let us win. If only so I can show my face in public.

Do you have the Peugeot 1007 ad over there? It's bloody brilliant. If you haven't, do whatever you can to get a copy of it. Doesn't really make you want to rush out and buy the car but damn it's good.

English Big Brother has now finished for the year and I miss it. Unfortunately my pathetic existance no longer has anything to revolve itself around of an eveing so I'm now reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy which will take about an hour and noting all the spelling mistakes in it. Oh my god, who is this person!?!

Sunday 7th August

Hmm, so neglected of late. I blame this on being heavily back in reading phase, in stark denial of my circumstances and with so little to report. In illustration, about the most exciting thing to happen to me of late is that I've managed to grow one of my fingernails and its getting quite long. I'm now trying to work on a second one but am thus far met with failure. See...boring.

Other than that there are only a handful of noteable things from the past month or so that have piqued my interest...

Seeing a large puddle of blood, with no victim and two guys arguing over who was to clean it up at one of the tube stations in peak hour was one. The next day I was fervently scouring the newspaper to find out what happened and was told it was probably just another stabbing and it would hardly make the paper. How lovely.

Got to serve Davina, the English Big Brother's version of Gretel but 100 times better in everyway. I was so surprised as I did not expect to look up and see her but oddly I liked her instantly. She's also in a show with Dexter Fletcher at the moment. Six degrees...

Last weekend I attended the work ball and had my hair done very fancily by one of my colleagues. It was at the best event venue I've ever seen but was relatively boring all in all. Those who know me well will know there's much more to this story but I don't particularly care to elaborate.

What else, what else. Oh, I got an email from a job I applied for over two months ago asking if I was still interested. I wonder if she emailed a bunch of people or just me. Anyway, shall soon find out I wager. (Note from future self - she never called.)

Am particularly despising work at the moment cos I keep getting in trouble for stuff that wasn't my fault. (Customer service is the shittest thing.) Plus they are trying to rotate me around different jobs which I thought I'd like but am finding quite the opposite. Anyway, I know it sounds crazy but I can feel a change in the air so we shall see.

Other than that, I have no freak stories to report, am becoming extremely frustrated at never being able to find the time to see more of London, have become horribly reclusive and am the poorest I've ever been, budgetting every penny I spend.

I've decided to live vicariously through you for a bit. Hope that's okay.

Augustus

Hi everyone,

I'm terribly sorry for not updating and ignoring your emails but I haven't been anywhere near the internet for at least 3 weeks. (Work stopped all access, bastards.) I haven't even been keeping a diary so I don't really have anything to add here right now.

I was pretty sick last week and took 3 days off work. Spent far too much time reflecting and being depressed. Things will look up though; they just have to.

I will try to be more consistent and fill you in on my trivial moments from the past few weeks sometime soon.

I think of you all often.
H.