14th July 2005

How boring. No new comments.

I'm freakin out today because a high security alert has been issued as the police are expecting terrorists to attack again within the week. Unfortunately I've got no other way to get home except for the tube so I'm quite worried. There will be police on 24 hour duty at all tube stations but what the hell can they really do? Check everyone with backpacks? I highly doubt it.

The other day we went through Kings Cross Station and I saw some of the forensic team investigating the walls and it really shook me up. Such a busy hub of activity turned into a clinical crime scene. I couldn't stop staring at them. For some reason it felt like being in outer space.

It's starting to mess with my head. I'm now staring at the screen hoping these aren't the last words I ever write on this thing and trying to think of something to say that won't be ironic if something were to happen.

I wonder if everyone else is now starting to feel the paranoia or if it's just because I'm hungover.

Love you and stuff.

Thursday 7 July

It's weird you know. For some reason I'd had this date stuck in my mind for a few weeks previous.

Anyway, it's all good, I'm still here.

I will admit bizarrely that being in a target city you feel much less affected than you might in another part of the world. I know that sounds truly weird but its just too surreal.

This week I'd normally be working 2-8 shifts but I'm doing an induction course so for the 2nd time I was doing a 9-5 shift. From my calculations I travelled through a couple of the target areas on a tube (Kings Cross / Russell Square) just prior (I think as I wasn't noting the time) to the attacks happening. We were travelling through stations where at the stops we could hear annoucements evacuating whole stations. We were told the power had gone off due to the storms. The thing that strikes me as odd is that my tube station was closed at least half an hour before the attacks yet they claim there was no premeditated warning. It was purely because I heard on TV that the Piccadilly line had major delays that I left earlier than usual. You become quite used to delayed trains as people jump in front of them all the time, sad but true.

I caught two buses to another station, one tube, discovered that all tubes and trains were grounded and then waited in a crowd for half an hour for a bus which I overheard another Australian describe as a crowd of 7000 people. It didn't feel quite so large but people on buses were taking photos of the crowd so it was obviously a memorable sight. This was 1.5 hours after my journey began and roughly 1/2 hour after the first explosion and still no one had a clue what was causing the problems. Joking rumours issuing from the crowd were in reference to the French being bitter about losing the games but no one had any idea there were bombs involved. Waited 1/2 hour for a bus and then gave up and walked for another half hour, caught another bus and finally got to work 3 hours late.

After that the day spiralled into bizarreness. The streets were deserted, all transportation was halted and everyone was grounded in the buildings they were in. Our induction was cancelled as we were told we were needed back at the hospital which as it turned out, we weren't, so we went to the pub.

As there was no way to get anywhere, Shane said I could stay with them so after a few drinks I headed back to work to see him, only to find out my boss did need me to work, and here I was serving patients rather tipsy. Drunk at work, one mission accomplished.

Was then called in to work early on Friday as no one had shown up, still wearing the same clothes which felt rather disgusting. Finally got home that night by taking a huge detour as my train line is still to this day not running.

Listening to the radio the next day was really bizarre. People who'd been on the trains / buses wishing they had visible scars. People who couldn't wash the smoke from their faces after the event. You know, usually you'd think of these people as attention seeking but I started to realise maybe it is just a natural part of the grieving process or understanding the shock of the situation. Of course there's also the "what if" syndrome which everyone has (what if I'd not turned on the TV and not heard the train had delays and left later than I did etc etc) but people have to realise that if it's their time to go, it's their time to go, you can't prepare for it or avert it. There's no point avoiding all public transport in London from now on. And of course it is a horrible thing for those who were involved and their families but it could have been much, much worse.

Anyway now I'm starting to tear up just thinking about it so I shall say goodbye, for now.

Tuesday 5th July

Had 'a day' today. Decided I could not suffer in the cold and rain without a jacket any longer so I trekked to Oxford Street to buy one from Kathmandu. Not the best brand but with 50% off who can resist. On the way someone tried to break into my bag again! Luckily I've now learnt to keep valuables tucked away. I was not impressed. Bought a jacket which was lucky as it decided to pour down two minutes later. Since I like walking in the rain (and drinking pina coladas) I watched as all the English pussed out and stood in doorways until it stopped while I got soaking wet. This was all good, cos as I sat, I like it, that was until I dripped all over the floor of my next destination which happened to be the greatest comic book store I've found yet.

At work I discovered all the black shit from my jumper was all over my white shirt. Sigh.

Has the worst day at work yet. Was seriously close to walking out until starstruck me got to serve Ian Holm. Love that guy! (Bilbo Baggins, Zach's father in Garden State). Thought about asking him for Zach Braff's number but as it turned out I wasn't able to help him so I didn't think it was appropriate. Man, I know it sounds bad when my only form of excitement comes from comic stores and celebs but as I've said my life is about the most mundane its ever been. Figure I just have to keep living like an incredibly boring person until I've saved enough travel (which at this rate will be never).

Sunday 3rd July

Woo I'm back!

Okay where was I...

London is the weirdest place. Today I went out with the intention to buy a mobile and some clothes and I came home with nothing. I felt really really shit and was having a day of hating London. Thinking of coming home. Anyway, just got off the bus and this guy was lost and asked me for directions so I showed him my map to help him out. Within two minutes with his particular line of questioning I'd told him exactly how I was feeling and he was really nice about it. He invited me to a BBQ he was going to and got my email and said he'd stay in touch and kept assuring me to stay positive and not give up. So yeah, now I feel a bit better.

EXTRA

Damnit I thought I could get these all typed up today but it turns out I can't. Will try and finish on Monday perhaps.

Bye!

Friday 1st July

Hi.
I can't write this lately because I'm finding myself so thoroughly boring.
Last weekend I went house hunting. It was crap. The housing conditions are SERIOUSLY depressing, particularly for the price. And it makes me physically sick that I paid £75 to a company to help me find a place and have received the worst service I've ever experienced in my life. I'm so upset I'm considering writing derogatory letters about them to every publication that might print it. ie. AVOID USING FLATLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bizarrely, the tiny place Shane lives in is heaven compared to what else is around.
This was also the day my phone was stolen, out of my backpack, whilst it was on my back, I suspect, on the bus home. And no, while everyone has asked, the simple fact is it couldn't have fallen out on it's own.

On Sunday Shane and I went to Comiccon. It was crap. Actually it was alright but I expected it to be way more exciting that it actually was. The complete lack of comics was a betrayal to its name for starters. Got to spy on Cordelia from Buffy but the only other decent (comparatively) celeb was Val Kilmer who we didn't really get a good look at and quite frankly didn't really care to. We were both so broke that there wasn't much purchasing going on but I did buy six inch Jay and Silent Bob bobble heads for £3 each. Score! The only other thing that really took my fancy was the Angel puppet (as mentioned below). Tried to win a new mobile phhone but as myc luck has always been far from good, it's no surprise that I didn't. Although in one of my more deep moments I reflected how you never know what luck has been working with you simply keeping you on this dear planet of ours (this is more true than ever now - FS) and therefore you shouldn't dis your luck.

As usual I've been thinking about chaos which I used to find interesting until I found the scientific view of it less than stimulating and how everything happens for a reason, which I no longer believe, however I do believe that everything happens due to a number of reasons which is actually much more interesting if you think about it long enough. The means tell a far greater story than the ends.

Boring week. Got paid into the wrong account again which = still broke. Seriously for a country that's been around as long as this one I'm continually shocked how crap everything is, particularly in comparison to Australia.

There "may" be a bright light in the housing sitch as Craig might be moving in with his girlfriend and Shane and I might move into an apartment in the same building but the lack of enthusiasm and drive in the two of them isn't helping me get my hopes up.

Kitchen boy has been trying to make me jealous by hugging every girl in sight when I'm around which I stupidly can't help but find cute (although I would kinda like a hug) but since he's been refusing to give me lunch until I promise to call him things could get ugly real soon if the food supply runs out.

Live 8 is tomorrow and I'm very depressed not to be going. To be in the city where the biggest even in the world is happening and not to be able to go is frustrating beyond belief. Unfortunately I will never know if I got 2nd round tickets since my phone went walkies.

The one confidence booster of the week has been knowing that I compulsively whinge it's nice to be around a bunch of people who whinge ten times worse than me. Nice cos it's good for the confidence, shit because I'd rather beat my head against a wall than listen to it. I hope it's not catching.

I'm not going to type up the next bit because I was basically hoping something interesting would happen. And now something has and it's one of those situations where you should be careful what you wish for.

Friday 24 July

Some old guy with an eye patch on the bus this afternoon proposed to me. He said I'd have everything I wanted, would clothe me in the best Parisian clothes, give me a horse and I could travel all over the world. It was quite strange. But being as I am, immersed in romantic novels from the 1800s, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't consider it for a brief moment but seriously, if he were truly rich and successful, why was he riding the bus and living in a flat? The mind boggles.

Anyway! To other matters! Last night I caught up with Catriona and Neal which was lovely. We had a short moment sipping beers in a university styled grassy area which was strange and I never quite got to the bottom of what that place was all about. Then we moved onto a Vietnamese restuarant with about 10 other assorted people, including Simon (who I lived with at uni res) and Paul. I was a little envious and intimidated by how successful everyoneat the table was but I can't do much about my own situation as evidenced by past experience. We then moved on to a bar decorated in Sin City style where we met up with Sandy and Chris Brammer who I also used to live at res with. Was most exciting as I had no idea they were living here and it turns out there's also a number of other people from res living in London. Had a rather good evening all round but luckily left just when I should have saving myself hangover pain at work today. It appears I may be learning...

This weekend I have a day of house hunting which I'm praying turns out well and another Comics Convention to attend. Hooray. The strange kitchen boy from work has been trying to coerce me in his broken English to meet up with him but I've since found out from Shane he's a 'complete dickhead'.

Interesting point about work...I've been told by a few people how young I look (big surprise) but one chick admitted she didn't speak to me for 3 weeks because she thought I was on work experience and another started asking me what I'd studied assuming I'd just finished uni. I'm wondering if this says more about my actions than the fact I look young. Not that I care in the slightest.

Very little else to report beyond the viewing of one of my two favourite TV events of the year, the MTV movie awards.

Oh, I was also going to mention the random snigger dog drug tests that have been going on at the Tube stations this week. Seems a bit unfair to me as I saw a few people get busted.

Latest hospital celeb - George Michael. Do you reckon I could get in trouble for listing all these people on here?

Tuesday 21 June

It seems I have a little time on my hands (and finally discovered a computer at work that connects to the internet) so I figured it was as good a time as any to update all the posts I've written but not typed up yet.

On this day three weeks ago I wrote...

Am starting to get a bit over London. All the necessary things are just far too difficult, except for the tube which I think is rather good despite everyone loving to have a whinge about it (Note from future self - this opinion of mine is now null and void.)

I went to see the Cat Returns (film) on the weekend which, if you like Stduio Ghibli films is just as good as the others. I've been desperately trying to buy some jackets but being summer this is near impossible. London doesn't really have shopping centres and all the shopping high streets seem to have the exact same chain of stores. Fear I may have to pay Camden a visit to pick up anything non mass produced.

Am getting desperately sick of living in this hostel place. It was fine when I knew I'd be able to move out of it but now with nowhere to go it's driving me a bit nuts. For some reason it's incredibly difficult to find hourses for rent in the areas I want to live unless I pay upwards of £60 to get a company to look for me. Another backwards things about London - rental agencies charge the person who's looking rather than the person who's leasing which seems utterly stupid to me considering its the property owners raking in the cash and can actually afford a small fee to list. And lastly, the other main thing that has been bothering me if the need of every potential employer to get two references for you and written ones don't count. It's just annoying that you have to keep bothering people to provide references for you in the endless tirade of job seeking. There's only so much a person can take, particularly when they have their own job to do.

I made the huge mistake today of going to the Marks and Spencer food hall. I just about died and went to heaven in the dessert section. I've decided that sometime when I have more money I have to buy a weeks worth of food from there just for the hell of it despite the high prices. I'm thinking of skipping dinner and going straight to the raspberry cheesecake I bought.

Point of interest for today - did you know that to apply for an Australian visa you have to have a full bloodtest and chext x-ray which isn't cheap and you're required to book about a month in advance. Much more difficult than getting a British visa.

I gave this boy who works in the kitchen at the hospital my phone number the other night. He's quite cute but doesn't speak English very well. He just sent me a text saying 'u was look nice today' awww.

I've discovered the English equivalent of 'how you going?' is 'are you okay?'. Ay least with 'how you going' you can answer with something slightly interesting but with 'are you okay', unless you've just been mauled by a runaway tiger which would most likely warrant a different question, you can only answer 'Yes'. I've no idea how to answer this question properly as I fear there's a trick to it despite being asked about 50 times a day. It's so menial but I find it quite unnerving.

I'll finish by saying to the lovely people who have been leaving hilarious messages on my phone, I keep missing your calls due to being at work but I promise I'll try and call you soon. (NB. This was prior to me losing my phone.)

Thanks to drunken Wes for the call. I see what you mean about Sara Gilbert - let's never have children together.

The day after

Hello everyone, I am alive and well although dirty as I haven't been home since London started exploding.

I am very touched by your concern.