Thursday 26 May

Halloa,

Got 10 minutes here so I'll write quick and reply to your emails and stuff later. I'm just about to go to work and I have to say your post Peter was hilarious and has made me feel much better about going.

Anyway, backtracking a few days. If you can just pretend it's last Thursday with me....

Today Shane's father and brother arrived back from Egypt so I was turfed out again into the big wide world. I decided to move to a guest house in Stamford Hill primarily because you get your own room with fridge, TV and sink and it's pretty much the same, maybe even a bit cheaper than sharing a dorm in a hostel. The only problem being that it's about an hour away from my new job whereas before I was only 3 minutes away. Typical really.

Go my first cab and in fact it was the first time I'd even been in a car in London. Scary stuff. I don't think my nerves would be able to cope with driving here. It appears the English have not learnt to indicate.

When I arrived I had quite a bizarre "interview" with Jim who runs the place. Lovely chap if not a bit full on. Again my new room wasn't free so he stuck me in a double for the day. This pretty much pissed me off because I couldn't unpack or go buy groceries and bored myself to death watching TV and had a lump of cheese, a spoonful of peanut butter and some cereal for dinner. I was also freaking out cos the kitchen had barely any utensils in it. But I was surprised because apparently there's 60 people living here and I didn't see one of them all day.

Never heard anything from Jim (apparently he knocked but I must have been asleep) so I got to sleep in a lovely big double bed which was quite a change. Had bad dreams though so it was all rather bittersweet.

Anyway, much more to add but I gotta scoot. Zooooom.

Hey, bunch of stuff to add but this computer is pissing me off so I'll write later. In the meantime, does anyone have any ideas how you get to be part of test audiences they do for film screenings? Either I'm shit at finding anything on the net or there's just nothing there. I have 24 mins left on this terminal so if I get everything else done I'll be back! Oh, and I can't get msn to work on this computer so I shall be absent from there for the next month or so.

24th May

Write more later but got a job today at Shane's hospital as an 'Outpatients Services Officer' which by the sounds of it means I get to deal with sick abusive people all day. What fun.

Went for an interview afterwards for a much better position, again I'll detail more later, but I really want it so send me good thoughts.

Sunday 22nd May

Well I suppose I should write something about today as it was my birthday. I intended to get out and do something but as Shane was working and finishing at an odd hour I had to be home to let him in which interrupted my plans. So I dyed my hair in some form of denial and then read most of the day. I was reading The Master and Margarita which is my all time favourite book so I don't consider it a total loss.

I have this awful habit of my lists of anything in my head as I totally stress out if my imaginary obligations aren't organised. Each list becomes abotu 10 others and it get can totally out of control, even though I'm well aware that the minute you step out of the house you're at the world's whim and no matter how much of a control freak you are things will inevitably fall to pieces. Anyway, I mention this as I did not want to be bothered by my neurotic tendencies on my birthday so I spent the day before and after indulging my list making habits and doing my tedious chores.

I had icecream for breakfast (Ben & Jerrs because I keep hearing all these references to it) and then for dinner bought a bottle of wine to have with an excellent takeaway curry and then stuffed myself with a bunch of other crap. I think Shane thought I was a little weird as he didn't remember it was my birthday and I couldn't be bothered telling him.

Anyway, needless to say crappest birthday ever. Thank you to my parents and the one (now three) people who remembered.

Saturday 21st May

Shane had takeaway pizza tonight and I figured it was worthy of mention as it was 18 inches and more a planet than a pizza. I'm surprised we got the box through the door.

Also watch Dylan Moran's Monster standup tour (the grumpy bastard from Black Books). It was bloody funny, particularly the last half hour so if you get the chance to see it make sure you do!

I can't be bothered writing the rest of my diary entry for today out so maybe later... Watch this space.

Wednesday 18th May

It's come to the point where I've decided to discontinue recounting my day to day life and I shall now only share my thoughts for the day or instances that are out of the ordinary. If anyone was actually enjoying this, I'll summarise as follows:

Wake up
Shower
Eat
Go to computer lab (apply for 100 jobs)
Variation of either a. washing b. grocery shopping c. library
Random comment on the nature of people who work in these places
Wash up (accompanied by some dodgy 'contemporary soul' music from the early 90s)
Invent crazy life theory
Cook dinner
Think about YOU!
Watch TV / DVD
Read
Worry
Sleep
Dream of a. Zach b. Jack Morton c. Jeremy Jordan lookalike ex bf

I will admit that my short hostel life was vastly different from this as it made me realise the numerous things I take for granted. For example, my bed, whilst being supremely difficult to get in or out of and sit up in, was like sleeping on cold concrete. To be honest I would have preferred to sleep on the floor because at least then you know you're dealing with the floor and not cold concrete pretending to be a mattress. To make matters worse, upon returning to Shane's he decided a bed swap was in order and I'm relegated to sleep on a mattress on the floor. I've laid on this mattress to read before and it seemed perfectly comfortable but upon attempting sleep on it you quickly realise it's just a mess of springs, perfectly placed to stick into all your vital organs, covered by material.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm more than grateful to have a place to sleep at all, but I would seem far less thankless if I actually DID achieve sleep. I'm returning to my old days of insomnia and if it continues I shall be forced to start making soap, reading IKEA catalogues and attending random self help groups.

Being the princess of princess and the pea fame is just totally shit.

I'm going to buy a yoyo.

Random Thoughts

Don't take RAGE and Triple J for granted. I miss them terribly. My head's been a bit weird lately. I keep getting seriously lost in daydreams and starting to place great importance on things that didn't seem so important for a long, long time. The other night I had a dream about someone I dated about 13 years ago and the whole next day was all in love with him, more so than I ever was at the time. (He looked like Jeremy Jordan - It's the right kind of love.)

I love this time of day when the sun is shining its very hardest for the last time before it begins to fade. (A little before magic hour). And then Mr Moon comes again. Haha aren't I clever! (I was trying to sneak in a reference without it being obvious, that was until I made it particularly obvious by pointing it out and now don't feel clever at all - and since there's only one person in the world who will understand that comment I'll just shut up now.)

Oooh, I have randoms leaving messages on my blog about Zach Braff (much appreciated by the way). For those who wonder what this obsession is all about:
http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/gardenstate/blog/
There's also a link on the sidebar there ------------------->

I've now changed the comments section so everyone can post and not just registered users.

Monday 16th May

I might pick up again today as my dreary life has been thrown into a little chaos. Rose early after very little sleep and prepared for my brief homeless adventure. Booked a room with one of the hostels down the street (I fear my first choice may have burnt down as when I strolled past it yesterday there was all sorts of ruckus going on). Loaded up my backpack for the very first time and had much trouble walking with it as I couldn't get the shoulder straps tight enough. Had to walk very precariously down the street in fear of falling backwards. It's such hard work walking with one of these things! Booked in only to find some girls were supoed to swap rooms today and I was to replace them - but they've mysteriously disappeared...

I was all prepared to be cheerful and meet people but on entering the kitchen for a glass of water my friendly smiles were met with unnerving glares so I left as quick as I could. Far from the welcoming backpackers in Byron Bay, this was cramped and dreary as you'd expect from London.

At about this time I was expecting a phone interview with a media company so I trotted up to my temporary room to take it. Up until this point I was scared I'd have nowhere to take it which is a little depressing when you find you don't have a square metre of space in all the world to call your own. I'm truly horrible in interviews - I just can't think quick enough of sell myself particularly well so I've no idea how it went. I fear this may prove one of the hugest drawbacks in me ever finding work here.

After this I was quite keen to escape the scary backpackers so I headed to the net cafe for more hours than I needed. Grabbed the Guardian as I've FINALLY discovered it has media jobs on Mondays (Thanks G!). Up until this point I had no idea what papers to get to look for jobs.

Went back to my room and read a bunch of crap in a futile attempt to make the day go faster and considered 100 times running back to Shane's place and begging them to let me stay. Sad really. So now I'm sitting on the floor writing this waiting for the rightful owners to claim my room (I say 'my' as it's only a 2 bed and I'm moving to a 6 bed and I don't want to give it back.)

Inspired by some very friendly girls I met who taught me some of the insider knowledge I attempted to kitchen for dinner but again was scared to death and lacking a place to sit and the scariest oven I've seen in my life I think eating is far too difficult and am hoping I am not forced to starve. (DRAMA QUEEN).

Now I'm alone in my 6 bed dorm wondering what the hell everyone does around this place at night. It's an impossible mission to get in or out of this middle bunk and I'm hoping I don't break my neck.

(I've just witnessed the scary girl in the room I was warned about...

Overheard conversation:

Nice girl: How was your day?
Mean one: Oh, don't ask.
Nicey: What what happened?
Mean girl (in mean tone): It's just a stupid question and I hate answering it. It's pointless.

She also completely ignored my presence which I thought rather rude (BITCH!) )

Around 9 I figured I'd give the kitchen one last shot and managed to find one chair in which to eat my utterly disgusting pot noodles while everyone else seemed to be eating 3 course feasts. I was privy to a conversation about 'cocks' from a bunch of ugly girls listening to Metallica on their laptop. Oh, the pain!

Got so very, very little sleep. Had a pillow as high as a skyscraper and a couple of people decided to move in after midnight. The fun and games of hostels huh!

Wednesday 11th May

Well as for the rest of the week which I've written up in my diary, I was clearly depressed and wish to write it all again as there's really no need for that business on the net!

Just briefly, as I can't be bothered right now, as its a lovely Friday afternoon, I have music and I feel like a beer:

Went for a job interview and was promised a second the next day. That was on Wednesday and I'm still waiting to hear (Shane's hospital).

Have a phone interview on Monday for another role I applied for 6 weeks ago and cannot for the life of me remember what the job was for.

Spent about the rest of the week musing, reading and glued to the TV watching Garden State extras. Think I'm becoming unhealthily obsessed with Zach Braff.

'Ave a good weekend and Happy Birthday Wesleypants.

Monday 9th / Tuesday 10th May

Today, finally is my appointment for a National Insurance number. Beautifully, as I entered the building, my name was called and I didn't have to sit around for the hours I'd expected. It only took about five minutes and now my six week wait begins.

I took the long way home mostly to check out a toy store which I'd spotted earlier in my travels. It was much to my liking and I wished I only had some money to buy a bunch of useless shit to surround myself with.

Ended up whiling away most of the rest of my day watching TV. A doco on the Caravaggio exhibition which I'm now keen to see, a great Secret Life of Us styled Indian mini series, a doco on the reforming of the Grange Hill cast for a one off appearance of them singing their 80s classic 'Just Say No' which accidentally unearths that most of the cast are drug users, and a new reality TV show set on a farm featuring celebrities such as Ron Jeremy and Flavor Flav.

According to my notes a good portion of this actually happened on Tuesday and not Monday as I've lead you to believe so I'll move right along to Wednesday.

Friday 6th / Saturday 7th / Sunday 8th May

I've decided to group these days together as the passing of them was unremarkable and frankly my own voice is beginning to bore me. The shininess and excitement of being here is wearing thin and I'm contemplating whether I can make anything of my life in London. I've been spending my days at home, more inside my head than in the world outside, and using menial activities to distract myself from even that. Shortly I shall not only be jobless but homeless and subsequently moneyless as I need to find somewhere to stay for 3 days early next week, returning for 9 days and then again requiring a new abode for a little under a month. I'm pondering, failing finding work within the next two weeks, if I should continue my travels, see what I can see with the money I have left and then come home or whether to try and make do in a cheap hostel and pray that things come right. I've really no idea.

Thursday 5th May

I've lost my purple pen which makes this diary I write in look very boring. Today I woke up early to a phone call from my agency saying they can't pay me as temporary insurance numbers are no longer being used. God knows why. This should be rectified in the 6 weeks (!) it takes to get a permanent one.

Went up to the net for a good few hours to peruse the 50 or so job sites on my list. Decided to apply for only three. Best not to take the overkill approach in future. However, also listed with about my 15th agency. Point being - I am bloody trying.

Have decided all cashiers in this city are weird. No reason really - they just are.

Played Playstation for more hours than I care to talk about, then spent the evening drafting job letters for my chosen three. One of these is at Shane's hospital as a receptionist. Filled out the 6 or so pages only to make a mistake in the last paragraph and had to write it all again. I'm quite surprised I'm still able to write at all after that effort.

It's election day today. I say go for the trifecta of crap national leaders and bring back Blair. Plus, I couldn't bear to have another Prime Minister in the world called Howard. (Plus he looks mean.) I tell you what though, their election coverage is actually really, really entertaining. It's almost like a parody of itself which is just what politics needs I reckon. (Now that I've write that it's just got really boring.) Anyway I'm tired. Sweet dreams.

Wednesday 4th May

Shane's mum has been ringing about ten times a day and this morning, nice and early, was no exception. But the early wake up was kind of beneficial in that I managed to drag Shane to the shops by 11am which is almost a miracle.

I've learnt in the last two days not to use the term 'EFTPOS' as the cashier won't stare at you blankly as you'd expect from using a term they don't understand, they'll just ignore you like you never spoke. They also say - instead of 'would you like cash out' ask if you want 'cash back' which can be very deceiving at first, as I thought I was getting all my money refunded, but no such luck.

Played PS2 for the rest of the day and am getting quite desperate for a job or I'll have to come home.

Tuesday 3rd May

Not a lot on the cards today. Shane has a few days off which generally involves doing a whole lot of nothing. Pretty much played Playstation all day which crashed that afternoon and we discovered we hadn't saved any of it. (I blame him as I'm an avid saver normally - something you learn very quickly when dealing with editing systems.)

I went on a mission for sustenance up the street as Shane's eye was bothering him and I decided it was bloody time to get him some decent eyedrops. Then he watched soccer, I read Walden, and that was about it.

Monday 2nd May

Today is the day of the Comics Convention in Milton Keynes. Sunday would have been the better day to go but as Shane was working we resigned ourselves to missing the best guests and going today instead. (Full guest list here: http://www.collectormania.com/)

We boarded our bright orange mini bus at Baker Street (home of Sherlock Holmes) and after a brief drive through the country with canola fields a-plenty we arrived at the shopping centre it was to be held in, which appeared to be not quite the largest I've ever seen but certainly the most spread out. It felt like you had to walk a mile to get anywhere. When we finally got there it was like toy heaven. Rows and rows of stalls selling toys and comics and autographs. We snuch a peak at some of the "stars" - the most interesting to me being Boysy from Only Fools and Horses, Dean Stockwell from Qantam Leap, Alan Cummings from X-Men and Corin Nemec (now who didn't love him in Parker Lewis Can't Lose - and is much cuter in person). Tried to see James Marsters (Spike) but he was all barricaded off from general view and I couldn't be bothered paying £20 for the 5 second privilege of meeting him although we did have a good laugh at the woman over the PA referring to Buffy as "Buffet".

Took a break from it all to look at DVDs instead - finally bought Garden State, hooray. Had some lunch and then went back to purchase toys. (Also checked out the real Chitty Chitty Bang Bang which was being displayed instore.)

Ended up buying the vampire from Nightmare Before Christmas (£5) and a ten inch tin toy robot (he's great) for £10 from a normal store in the shopping centre. Couldn't resist.

Chatted to the stallholders about random things. Bumped into Alan Cummings wandering around, flanked by security guards. Then sat about for an hour or so for our bus back to London. I decided on the way back that I rather like the northside of London (best part of any town I reckon). Didn't do much after this but laze about with Donuts and watch GS.

Sunday 1st May

More reading. Finished Wilke Collins - The Moonstone and became thoroughly depressed for about 20 minutes afterwards because I had such a tough time extracting my head from the book world back into my own life.

Went to the net place which just pissed me off because everything I intended to do proved much more difficult than it was supposed to be. What a surprise.

God I think I even watched Three Men and a Baby and Indiana Jones (TOD) in desperation today.

At night Shane and I took our first French lesson which I found really hard and am now all discouraged. It appears my method of learning is much more involved than his. Ever the perfectionist.

Anyway, I don't know about you but through writing this its becoming clear to me that I'm not in a very good mood and should probably stop. (Soccer is boring.)

Saturday 30th April

Washing day. It's packed and shit and I can't be stuffed but it always feels good when it's done. Decide we should investigate Harrods today so we jump on a bus which fast seems to be becoming my new mode of transport, as much as I despise them, and head for Knightsbridge, the home of Harrods. I don't know why but I expected it still to be based in the 1920s but it was much like Myer Melbourne or Daimaru. It had some weirdly Egyptian themed rooms which I thought belonged more in a casino, not being able to make sense of why exactly it was there. But the food halls were great (not to be confused with food courts). Who doesn't love shopping for fresh produce in a market? I get all excited by them even if I rarely buy anything.

On good advice we bought a dozen assorted Krispy Kreme donuts and some bakery treats. Look at a few other things but there's not too much worthy of mention. Shane bought a French book to accompany our course and the Ramones doco DVD.

Get the greatest bus driver in the world home. Cracking jokes and generally being a very nice chap. He even let off a passenger at the ATM and waited for him while he got some money, watched in anticipation by the whole bus. There were even claps and cheers when he got back on.

Where we got off Kylie was about to start performing in the stadium and it was most amusing spotting her fans a mile off.

Also, being a warm day, instead of drinking in pubs, the patrons tend to flock to the footpath and stand about on the street which I thought rather odd.

Got home, watched some interesting show on the history of music videos and that, I think, is that.

Friday 29th April

Don't feel much like doing anything today. I think the most noteable things, as mundane as they are, were finally getting an interview for a National Insurance number, (I was so surprised they bothered to answer the phone that I had nothing prepared), read half my next book, watched some terrible midday movie called 'Custody of the Heart', the title of which should explain its quality, and did some research on the net about getting to this comics convention. Why you people read this drivel is beyond me!